| Suffocation |
[Apr. 10th, 2012 AT 08:17 pm] |
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I feel so lost.
Work is consuming me and I am getting exhausted. I feel too absorbed that i've lost track of purpose.
1. I wanted Holidays.
2. I wanted to read and cycle to the beach.
3. I wanted to dance and exercise.
4. I wanted to play the piano.
5. I wanted to help people, organizing real charity events.
I don't know why I still feel so unfufilled.
People say the world is divided into realists and dreamers.
I don't get it. Why can't we be both? |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 12th, 2012 AT 09:18 pm] |
I'm currently in a very strange place right now.
I just feel like I have to be my own person. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 25th, 2012 AT 11:16 pm] |
Everyone believes I know the difference between right and wrong. They believe that regardless of any amount of pain, I'll always be strong enough to smile through it all.
& most of the time, i pull it off - this image of a strong-headed matured girl.
They don't see my punctured heart being wrung, where it hurts so bad I need to feel it with physical pain before my heart shreds. They don't understand I get irate - so furious I can't help but scream in my pillow, shrouded in a black darkness that pulls me under. & these warped haunting thoughts won't stop.
i don't know where to vent this dark anger within me. i'm very afraid i'm going crazy.
Death doesn't scare me anymore.
honestly, i think it's okay to die. |
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| I'm not braindead. |
[Feb. 9th, 2012 AT 08:23 pm] |
I think it's time i stop trying to pinpoint the roots of past failures and admit to a new perspective.
It is not right to be burdened by depression and futility at such a young age of 18 going on 19.
I know that life is brighter than that. Just because everyone conforms to the same perspective doesn't mean it should be a reality for everyone. So today, I want to decide to change for the better.
Better and lovelier in my eyes alone. |
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melshen's journal